According to US national surveys on sexual health and behavior, 91% of men and only 64% of women had an orgasm during the last sexual intercourse. According to the theory of a professor of philosophy and psychology, the reason lies not only in the structure of the body but also in the stereotypes, adopted in the society. Decades of research have shown that women need the stimulation of the clitoris, and even vaginal orgasm depends on it. However, the myths that a woman can easily get such an orgasm, having relaxed enough, are still widespread in society, and there are several reasons for that. This article is prepared by Russian women for marriage.
Culture depicts women who get an orgasm through penetration.
If you analyze popular movies with erotic scenes or even porn, it’s easy to see that the main characters get an orgasm after several aggressive frictions with penetration, and other techniques are ignored. It seems that the main thing is to find the right position to help a woman catch the wave. In fact, it does not matter in which position a woman is and how big your penis is. There are not so many nerve endings in a vagina, unlike a clitoris. The image of the female orgasm in the media simply increases the insecurity of women who cannot reach an orgasm through penetration.
The number of women who reach an orgasm through penetration is overestimated.
There is often quoted statistics, according to which the only one in four women gets an orgasm through penetration. However, the statistics do not take into account that in reality, the respondents also received stimulation of the clitoris. According to the survey, only 4% of women can reach an orgasm through penetration, 43% need stimulation during penetration, 34% consider the stimulation of the clitoris to be the best way to cum, and 17% cannot reach an orgasm with a partner at all. Nonetheless, even these statistics may be overestimated. People involved in such studies are usually sexually open, which means they are more likely to get an orgasm thanks to their emancipation.
Female genitals are just a vagina.
During puberty, and in the process of studying, people come to the conclusion that the male and female genitalia differ only in name. So, men have a penis and testicles, women have a vagina which is usually mentioned without any details and differences. This is the same as telling a child that the nose is for eating and breathing. After all, the nose and mouth are both on the face, so what’s the difference? For some reason, men call all of the female genitalia in a word and do not even notice the absurdity of the situation. Since the clitoris has no effect on male pleasure, some men prefer not to pay any attention to it during sex.
Sex is only about penetration.
During the same period of puberty, people master the word “sex.” It is defined as the penetration of the penis into the vagina. Any other technique is considered “not real” or only a prelude to real sex. This happens due to the fact that for a long time, the key moment in sex was considered a male orgasm because only it leads to reproduction.
The male orgasm is more important.
Society still appreciates man’s sexual pleasure more than woman’s. In 2016, the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality published a report, according to which 63% of men and only 44% of women had oral sex during the last sexual intercourse. In another study, it was found that adolescents consider oral sex more important than sex with penetration, but only if a woman does it. Obviously, the lack of attention to the clitoris is associated not only with a misunderstanding of anatomy, many men still don’t think that it is so important.
The only way to eradicate those stereotypes and thus improve the quality of sex is to learn more about how women’s bodies work. Many men are ignorant of female orgasm, and they automatically become poor lovers. When it comes to sexual intercourse, the main task of a man is to satisfy his woman, let her experience that heavenly pleasure of orgasm (otherwise she’ll be looking for someone who is able to get her to orgasm). For this, he should know her desires and her secret spots. Foreplay is extremely important, because to get a real pleasure from a sexual act, a woman needs to be “tuned”, and foreplay is meant for turning on her libido. In women, psychology usually comes first and physiology – second. Her emotional state will define her sexual desire.
Your foreplay should include touches, stroking, caresses, kisses, and sweet words whispered in her ear. Sometimes, all this can already bring her to orgasm. Foreplay is needed to activate one important physiological process in her, that of natural lubrication. This will mean that she is ready for penetration, and frictions will not hurt her.
Before penetration, stimulate her clitoris either with fingers or a tongue. You can combine penetration with clitoris stimulation. As you already know, that small part of the vulva is responsible for every orgasm irrespective of position and the type of sex.
You shouldn’t ask your woman whether she had an orgasm right after you finish. It will spoil the atmosphere of intimacy in your bedroom. However, you should talk about sex, about each other’s preferences and fantasies, about likes and dislikes in bed. Partners should be frank in this regard. It’s a direct way to quality sex and mutual satisfaction.