Category Archives: DVDs

The Blair Witch Project – A Porn Parody

Hopefully you all enjoyed the festive season and best witches (I mean wishes) for the New Year. Did you enjoy watching the Blair Witch Project? Well why not get that creepy feeling with a porn parody at xvideo. We have the best porn parodies at bargain basement pricing. Check out the review and buy your porn parodies now –

While the original film that this porno version basically rips off was a pretty effective horror movie, there was nothing sexy about it at all, making it a puzzling choice for an adult remake but here it is courtesy of writer/director Dick Chibbles and starring such names as Britney Amber, Tommy Gunn and Brandy Aniston (who is kept very busy in this movie).

The plot of this is basically the same as the plot of the original – in 2010 a group of adult filmmakers go into the woods to shoot a porno movie in the rural area of Maryland. They’re also working on a documentary about the Blair Witch as well. OK. So at any rate, they go into the woods and film one another fucking and sucking and then strange things start to happen and they wind up lost and being pursued by some unseen evil force. Completely inconsistent in how it switches back and forth between what appear to be legitimate attempts at making a scary movie and some groan inducingly bad comedy The Blair Witch Project:A Hardcore Parody winds up doing neither very well – but hey, it’s a hardcore parody, right? If the sex is good enough, we can overlook this without any problems whatsoever – so let’s take a look at that aspect of the production, shall we?

Scene 1 – Britney Amber, Nikki Daniels, Tommy Gunn: Playing the ‘Heather’ character from the original, Ms. Amber is the leader on this outing and she decides before they head out into the woods that fucking Tommy Gunn would be a good way to warm up for the project. Since Tommy wants to get some footage under wraps before they split, he’s game and Nikki Daniels shows up at just the right moment to get in on the action. This is a fairly typical guy with two girls scene – Tommy pokes away at the two of them, they take turns sucking his cock and occasionally play with each other. The emphasis here is on taking care of Tommy though, so despite the fact there’s a lot of finger fucking on the part of our two ladies (gotta love the dark hair/light hair contrast they provide!) it’s not as hot or as sincere as it could have been. Regardless, Tommy blows his load across Amber’s pussy and Nikkie dutifully licks it off to finish the scene, always a nice touch.

Scene 2 – Brandy Aniston, Daisy Layne, Hef Pounder: After running into a creepy farmer and discussing the legend of Coffin, err… Casket Rock ad naseum, they get out of the van and head into the woods Amber reads from a book that details the legend while nearby Brandy and Daisy double team Hef and suck his cock to get him primed. He goes back and forth between the two ladies and takes his time fucking them each from every angle you could want, though with doggy style seeming to be the most effective. Daisy definitely seems as into Brandy as she is into Hef, if not more so, which is nice to see. He blows his load onto Brandy’s tits with a nice handjob from Daisy to close the scene.

Scene 3 – Nikki Daniels, Jack Vegas: When everyone else retries at the campsite for the night and goes to bed, Nikki and Jack take advantage of the alone time that’s been offered to him. She takes his pants down, gets him hard and gives him a pretty top notch looking blowjob – though she seems more into it than he does. She gets an A for effort. The whole thing is shot in POV and in nightvision, so don’t expect top notch clarity here but it fits in keeping with the context provided.

Scene 4 – Brandy Aniston, Tommy Gunn: After some hiking and wanting to get away from the pressures of being lost in the woods in the middle of nowhere, Tommy and Brandy decide to release some pressure with a good fuck. They find a nice clearing in the woods with a conveniently placed rock and before you know it Brandy is on top of it and Tommy’s worked his way in between her legs. She strokes him and sucks him and he pumps away at her and they’ve set up a camera nearby in the grass to capture the action, which is mixed up with POV shots. It’s not that great a scene, but it is at least creative from a technical standpoint. Tommy finishes the scene off with a pop shot to the mouth.

Scene 5 – Brandy Aniston, Britney Amber, Daisy Layne, Nikki Daniels: As the pressures of being lost in the woods mount, the group sets up camp for the night and the next morning when everyone wakes up, the girls are all in the tent together. Jack Vegas sees them there and figures, hey, every porno movie needs an all girl scene, and who am I to look a gift house in the mouth? The cameras roll and the ladies engage, taking their sweet time licking and flicking and sucking and fucking. For some reason some of this is in color and some of it is in black and white, which doesn’t make any damn sense at all. The scene is too short to really amount to much.

Scene 6 – Britney Amber, Nikki Daniels, Hef Pounder, Jack Vegas: Last but not least, after a bunch of bickering about maps and being lost, and after spending a night in the tents hearing Jack screaming out in the woods, everyone wakes up and these two girls settle down with these two guys in a clearing in the woods for a little foursome to bring the movie to a close. Nikki works the camera at first but soon somehow ends up in the action too? Ok. At any rate, the guys have their way with the ladies, it’s all pretty standard stuff and not particularly well shot or logical in a contextual manner, but it ends with the guys blowing their respective loads onto their respective partners and the girls do a big gooey cum swamp at the end. Well, the end of the sex scene at least – the ‘story’ wraps up with Britney finding Tommy’s cock severed from his body in the woods and then voyaging into a cabin they find in the woods. If you’ve seen the original, you know where it goes, only this time around the acting is terrible and what should have been an eerie finish instead comes across as being played for laughs.

AMK EMPIRE – award winning adult studio

AMK Empire is an award winning studio part of ATKINGDOM that is an entertainment company founded in 1996 for adults. Providing niche content for the purveyor of porn their titles include pregnant girls, hairy women, fat fuckers, anal creampies, MILFs for your pleasure and more. For the past 20 years, ATKingdom and AMKingdom offer high quality content for those that like their sex just a little off centre  They are the leaders in the market and pioneers for POV Amateur, Hairy, Natural, Mature, and other Fetish categories.

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Read what a reviewer wrote about the Anal Violation of Bonnie Gray –

This feature, “starring” Bonnie Grey is from AMK Empire/Exile, and features a girl with a mediocre body, dry-damaged bleached hair, small hanging tits and an ok face. — Steve Nelson Reviewer Rated: STOP! Don’t even bother! This one isn’t worth watching!

Anal Violation of Bonnie Grey was submitted to AVN for Best Anal Series. If there weren’t other better movies in this series to submit, then this is a terrible series. This feature, “starring” Bonnie Grey is from AMK Empire/Exile, and features a girl with a mediocre body, dry-damaged bleached hair, small hanging tits and an ok face. At least she has a bit of hair on her pussy, but that appears to be the only attractive thing about her. She’s not very photogenic and the best wood in this movie was her wooden acting.

For scene one there’s a POV suck in a tub, and fuck on bed. She has a pretty pussy but it’s shot with shaky camera all over the place. If they wanted her to look good they should have had someone do her hair and makeup. The camera frequently blurs out, and there’s bad lighting, as the scene progresses to anal with some shots of her tiny, flabby tits. She jacks him and sucks up some squirts and swallows.

Scene two: Her hair looks better here. Not as much blonde frizzed straw like the first scene. She strips out of lingerie after being chastised for wearing no clothes to work and has to put on a show for the boss. It’s a solo scene. It would be easier to masturbate to a bowl of fruit. Fast forward.

In scene three she comes into the room and says she’s “a friend of Sophia – maybe we can have some fun.” Then smokes a cigarette, she talks, he doesn’t. Now her pussy is not trimmed. The hairs are short and all over around her pussy and legs. She should have trimmed that thing up. He fingers her, then she blows him, then she jacks him off on to her foot. I would be pissed at Sophia for sending her over.

Scene four shows her again with the frazzled blonde hair that looks like a bleach job to the point of dry brittle hay. She looks stoned. Her pussy now trimmed, looks a lot better. The camera follows her in where she fills the tub. She has a flap of skin on her taint when she spreads her ass for the camera. You can’t see it very well on the boxcover because her ass looks dirty. She has another cigarette while the tub fills, then takes a bath. Yawn.

Scene five: He wake her with a caress and her hair looks better now than it did in the last scene. It’s now straight and not as fried-looking. She performs a good-morning BJ, a foot jack, and reverse cowgirl. Cowgirl looks ok. Then some POV spoon. Poor lighting here. If this scene didn’t blur out it would have been good in spite of the poor lighting. It was out of focus. Then anal and he cums on her face. Bad camerawork on this.

Unfortunately, an experience with Bonnie Grey may have colored my opinion of this DVD, as much as I’ve tried to be objective. When I saw her on the cover of this DVD I wanted to review it myself to see if she came across as a big of a cunt as she was to me when I drove her to her scenes before I put her on my no-list. 

Bonnie Grey Porn Star

Joy Bear BritAin’s HOttest Porn!!

Joybear is a British adult movie production company whose goal is the change how people perceive porn movies. Featuring sex-positive porn dvds since 2003 with a more intimate way of portraying couples including kissing, cuddling and sweet nothings.

We all have challenges when thinking or doing sex and wouldn’t it be nice to have a teaser ready to prime your partner for erotic action? Joybear does that and more with their intimate moments caught on video that brings erotica to a whole new level. Enjoy the flirting on cam with natural action and hand picked bodies. Surely you are already excited by the prospect.

The build up on these scenes will amaze and there is no wham, bam, thank you maa’m and this though process continues from inception, editing and then final release. It is great to show a little bit of love into our personal universes.

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Gay Of Thrones Makes All Men Cum

With the release of Game of Thrones season 7 just around the corner and with the sad news today that we won’t get season 8 until 2019 I thought I’d do my review on the Men.com porn parody series “Gay of Thrones”. Now, as a recent newcomer to the HBO series, having only seen it in its entirety only a few months ago, I was quite excited to see how the gay porn studio turns it into an adult movie. I got the DVD from an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre and when I had my first chance alone I popped it on.

The first scene starts off with Toby Dutch as Daenerys Targaryen who stands by a river. We then see Abraham Al Malek as Khal Drogo. The costumes are made extremely well and they have done the characters justice. They went as far as making Daenerys hair white and Al Malek had the same blue tattooing as the character.

Daenerys Targaryen in Gay Of Throne
Image: Daenerys Targaryen

Now in this first scene, they get right to the action. No story set up, no talking between the characters, they just start having sex. I’m not sure if they took this approach to replicate the show, as these two characters have very little dialogue between them, but a little story set-up would have been nice. I can’t even say that the chemistry was great between the actors, but again, I’m not sure if that was to capture the characters or not, but it felt rather disjointed. The fact that it was outside was hot though. It was a fairly basic scene, they change positions a few times and then finish with Daenerys taming Drogo’s dragon.

Khal Drogo in Gay Of Throne
Image: Khal Drogo

The next scene we see Paul Walker, Loras Tyrell and Dato Foland as Renly Baratheon. The set-piece is very representative of the show and I felt they captured that aspect well. There is some dialogue as Tyrell shaves Baratheons chest. Soon after they start to get into the action. There’s more passion between the two actors this time and it feels like they have done the characters justice as they are lovers in the series. After switching positions and roles a few times they have their happy ending. They share a passionate kiss and Tyrell tells Baratheon he thinks he would be a good king. I’m sure he does after the battle they just had.

In the next scene, we see Damien Crosse as Oberyn Martell and Christopher Daniels as Olyvar. It begins with Olyvar offering Oberyn a line-up of beautiful young prostitutes to which he inspects them very closely but dismisses them, only to order Olyvar to stay. He gives himself to Oberyn, to which he has no qualms with whatsoever. He strips and drops to his knees. In this scene, Damien Cross is very dominant and forceful but passionate. I think it is really hot and very true to the character himself. He knows what he wants and he takes it!

Keeping true to the series the set pieces are very believable and add to the Game of Thrones Universe. The actors have great chemistry and work very well together! I’m a big fan of Crosse and love him as the character of Oberyn Martell. The characters change positions and use the entire room, which I think is a good detail. After they have finished their battle, Oberyn orders Olyvar to put his clothes on and get back to the boys.

Renly Baratheon in Gay Of Throne
Image: Renly Baratheon

The final scene shows Colby Keller as Daario Naharis and Toby Dutch return as Daenerys Targaryen. It starts off with a voiceover, which I found odd as none of the other scenes had a little story to begin with. It shows that Naharis had captured Daenerys to take him to his lord. As he is taking Daenerys to be locked up, he takes Daenerys for himself beforehand. He claims there are two things he excels at; War and men. He has already had a war, so now he is taking the man for himself.

This scene takes place in what looks like some old ruins, and I think that’s really hot. The men start to do their battle and not long till their swords are drawn. The men were somewhat passionate but this scene to me wasn’t overly thrilling. They go at it and have an explosive conclusion to their battle.

Overall, I felt like this movie was lacklustre. It would have been so much better with more story and more dialogue added to it. I know its porn but the corny innuendos and cheesy acting would have been fun for this fantasy series. They definitely could have elaborated on the characters and how they got to be where they were. It just needed a little more elaboration to make it more like Game of Thrones. Take away the costuming and the backdrops (all of which I think were great) you wouldn’t have known this was Game of Thrones related at all.

I give this gay adult movie with butt-centric sex 2 battle swords out of 5.

Author: Brett is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Angelina Armani The Big Hit

Angelina Armani is one of those hotties that doesn’t come around all that often in the porn industry, her lean figure, captivating face, and raw sense of sensuality sure to make waves as she provides director Robby D. at Digital Playground with some additional inspiration. Her first movie for the company is Angelina Armani: The Big Hit, a feature of sorts that shows the newcomer contract gal in her best light as more than just a beauty that looks like retired starlet Julie Meadows. The movie itself shows the gal trying to become a contract killer for the thrills and excitement of the profession when her boy toy Mick Blue leaves for work, the fusion of gun themes and heated sex much like the Naked Aces series that Robby seems so fond of these days. Does the cutie live up to the hype and is this the best use of her attributes the company could provide? Well, considering how much screen time she was given and her three full scenes with men, I think she is about to become exceptionally popular with fans just in time for the 2009 Adult Entertainment Exposition (though technically, this one comes out next year just after the show closes up). Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Alexis Texas Porn Actress Photo
Porn Star: Alexis Texas

Scene One

Alexis Texas, the bountiful beauty with the awesome booty, was up first as she sucked off Danny Mountain in bed. Angelina got a lick of his lollipop too but she left as part of the thematic elements and naked Alexis was shown slobbing his knob in earnest with her ass in the air. Danny is a third tier moper as far as I’m concerned (at least as of this writing) so it was no surprise that he did not reciprocate, letting Alexis pound her sweet pussy onto his rod in a few positions while she whispered sweet nothings, looking at the camera and providing a decent but mechanical ride this time. The lack of personal chemistry aside, it ended when he bust a nut of genetic juice on her abdomen, some post coital sucking closing the scene out.

Scene Two

Vanessa Leon, a lean brunette with about as much acting skill as Angelina, was up next with Ben English, the pair dismissing the wannabe killer in a cold looking house with most of the colors abbreviated. Vanessa was wearing black lingerie and Ben was insistent as he pawed and sucked her nipples, acting rough towards her as she masturbated during their lengthy kisses. Vanessa than lowered her mouth to wrap her lips around his turgid cock, her ass sticking out as she held the rod to keep most of it from being slammed down her throat. They fucked vaginally in numerous positions, the standing fuck looking like it might kill the guy, beads of sweat rolling down his body as he rested when she went back to sucking him off (using her hand to increase the friction). The facial wasn’t bad either, the population pudding gracing her face and hair all over.

Angelina Armani Porn Actress Photo
Porn Star: Angelina Armani

Scene Three

Angelina Armani the hotty featured all over the front cover, was up next in her first actual scene, the gal taking on the mighty Evan Stone in bed as the two bantered words to result in the bedroom dare. Evan proved up to her challenge and they each had what the other wanted, he provided a gun while she provided the pussy. Evan went all silly (as usual) and Angelina had a tough time keeping a straight face, her clothing coming off as she rubbed herself at the thought of handling the handgun. She licked it and he licked her, neither getting much chance to satisfy the other orally before they vaginally screwed in a mechanical fashion. Evan did most of the work and banged her until he rubbed out a wad of spew to her face, the gal departing to begin her career as an assassin.

Emy Reyes Porn Actress Photo
Porn Star: Emy Reyes

Scene Four

Emy Reyes, a gal with a frisky personality, was up next as she proved envious of Angelina’s gun, the contract gal leaving her with Scott Nails so the two could have some fun. Emy sucked him off in such a way that it was clear she had plenty of experience, alternating between using her hands and skipping them, Scott stroking her back as she worked his pipe. He started screwing her passive pussy rather than go down on it, the gal getting into the rhythm of the motion before too long. This was another case of mechanically driven sex, her tan versus his pasty white skin looking kind of weird in the stark camera world set up for the show. He smacked her around and she provided some aural comments that struck me as generic, her all natural body not a bad one but barely above minimal effort until she fucked him to orgasm at the end of the scene; most of his initial load going to her ass and the rest to her face.

Angelina Armani Porn Actress Photo
Porn Star: Angelina Armani

Scene Five

Angelina Armani, now on assignment and in a world where everything looked yellow tinted, came on to Jerry as if he were a movie star. He played along when it was apparent that not doing so would end the tryst, the lady blowing him and jerking him off before their 69 led to him drilling her pussy. She did PTM between positions and while she did not live up to her genetic potential, the overuse of extreme close up shots sure didn’t help either. The ending nut juice landed on her face and she did not swallow any of it.

Scene Six

Angelina Armani, back in bed with studly Mick Blue just like the movie began, found the colors restored to normalcy and her lips wrapped around yet another cock, the short hummer leading to them screwing. Mick did most of the work and Angelina looked as cute as ever, her mane of hair bouncing around as much as her breasts when he banged her roast beef box. I prefer active riders in my scenes and while I think she will learn over time, her oral was clearly the best part of the scene by far (as with her other scenes to date). It ended when Mick jerked off to her face, the movie suggesting a sequel before the credits rolled.

Cast

Alexis Texas, Danny Mountain, Vanessa Leon, Ben English, Angelina Armani, Evan Stone, Emy Reyes, Scott Nails, Jerry, Mick Blue

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